Parenting resources
Parenting is one of the most challenging yet rewarding roles one can undertake. This role requires us not only to nurture and guide our children’s needs but also to be attuned to and address our own. One aspect that makes parenting particularly daunting is the overwhelming abundance of resources available, from books and blogs to podcasts and social media influencers. We’ve never had access to so much information which can be helpful as well as confusing and sometimes contradictory.
In this blog, my goal is to cut through the noise and provide insight into some of the most helpful resources I’ve found. Whether you’re navigating the early years or facing new and baffling challenges, these recommendations are designed to offer guidance, support, and practical strategies to help you on your parenting journey.
Raising Kids with Big Baffling Behaviors by Robyn Gobbel
If you’re at your wits’ end trying to understand your child’s baffling behaviors, this book is a valuable resource. Robyn Gobbel offers the insight that all behavior makes sense when viewed through the right lens. She combines scientific data with accessible analogies to help parents accurately understand brain behaviors.
In this book, you’ll learn about the “owl,” “watchdog,” and “possum” brains, metaphors for different states of a child’s brain. When a child feels safe, the “owl brain” is engaged, leading to behaviors that show playfulness, safety, and connection. The “watchdog brain” is on alert for potential threats, but in a safe environment, it resembles a playful Golden Retriever, relaxed and energetic. Lastly, the “possum brain” represents a state of conservation and withdrawal, often seen when a child feels threatened or overwhelmed. In safe situations, this part of the brain helps a child enjoy calm, snuggly activities like reading together.
Gobbel uses fun cartoons and graphs to explain these concepts, helping parents become curious rather than judgmental about their child’s biological responses.
Good Inside – Dr. Becky Kennedy
Dr. Becky Kennedy, known as the “millennial parent whisperer,” explores the idea that everyone is inherently good inside. Her book, Good Inside, provides parenting principles that balance firm boundaries with empathy. For example, you can say “no” to a child’s request for ice cream for breakfast while still acknowledging their feelings.
Drawing on Internal Family Systems (IFS) theory, Dr. Becky views behavior as a reflection of underlying thoughts, emotions, and unmet needs. She encourages parents to respond from their “true self” rather than react impulsively to tantrums or challenging behaviors. One key concept she introduces is the “Most Generous Interpretation” (MGI), which encourages parents to view their child’s behavior in the most empathetic light possible. This approach helps parents distance themselves from intense emotions, fostering empathy and validation for their children.
Dr. Becky also offers practical strategies for connecting with children in ways that build resilience while respecting boundaries. Her website, Good Inside, includes additional resources, social media links, podcasts, and a subscription plan offering scripts and problem-solving tools for common parenting challenges.
The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt.
Jonathan Haidt, a social psychologist, delves into the profound effects of smartphones and social media in The Anxious Generation. He explores how the rise of the smartphone generation and a trend towards safety-focused parenting have fundamentally rewired childhood, leading to a mental health crisis among young people.
Haidt demonstrates that the smartphone era has precipitated a significant decline in mental health, illustrated by a rise in suicide rates among U.S. adolescents aged 10-14, which have increased by 121% from 2010 to 2020. Through a combination of data and real-life narratives, he examines the shift from play-based to phone-based childhoods, identifying key factors such as social deprivation, reduced attention spans, and addiction. These changes, he argues, exacerbate the growing mental health crisis facing today’s youth.
Haidt, an experienced author and social psychologist, is known for blending ancient wisdom and modern sociological insights. In this book, he offers a conceptual analysis of the challenges faced by children growing up in a phone-based society. The Anxious Generation is a valuable resource for anyone interested in understanding the roots of today’s youth mental health crisis and exploring the broader question of how we arrived at this point.
The Whole-Brain Child
The Whole-Brain Child by Dr. Daniel Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson is a concise and accessible guide to understanding children’s brain development. The book offers easy-to-digest explanations of complex neuroscience concepts, complete with helpful cartoons. It explains how understanding these concepts can help parents foster happier and calmer children.
The authors provide practical strategies in each chapter, including ways to teach children about brain science. These strategies are designed to be simple enough for even young children to understand, making the book particularly useful for parents who appreciate straightforward explanations.
Siegel and Bryson have also authored other helpful books, such as No Drama Discipline and The Yes Brain, along with accompanying workbooks. More resources can be found on their respective websites.
Conclusion
Ok, good and bad news. The bad news is that there is no quick fix for parenting problems that you are encountering (if there is, please let me know!). The good news is that you can help your kid develop empathy, resilience, and lessen unwanted behaviors by listening to your own needs and fostering the relationship between you and your child. I hope that you can find a resource that resonates with you and your child’s needs and if you find yourself needing support, reach out for help.
Resources:
https://www.tinabryson.com/books
Robyn Gobbel
Dr. Becky Kennedy
Super helpful podcast! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XT_6Lvkhxvo
Jonathan Haidt
Dr. Daniel Sigel & Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.